Looking for Solvable Problems
Sometime in the summer, I fell into the habit of working the New York Times mini crossword before bed. I’m not sure exactly how it started. But, it quickly became as cemented in my bedtime routine as flossing my teeth. Those short little riddles led inexorably on to the full crosswords, as I learned the ways of the crossword. Crosswords quickly became my pandemic vice of choice.
I didn’t quite realize what role they were playing for me until I read Austin Kleon’s thoughts on his pandemic Rubik’s Cube obsession (https://austinkleon.com/2020/02/01/the-cube-in-praise-of-solvable-problems/). He aptly pointed out the need in this moment for solvable problems, in the midst of so many intractable ones.
This idea resonated with me. I was scratching a particularly burdonsome itch as I confronted conundrums, filled in the blanks, and ended up with a highly satisfactory completed puzzle. It was a series of unknowns that I could know. In the midst of the swirl of unknowns that was 2020, this was a decidedly comforting accomplishment.
On December 30th, I screen shared the crossword on to our TV, and completed it with my family. This, I announced to everyone, was my last crossword.
“Forever?” my daughter asked.
“For the foreseeable future.” I answered.
As much as I enjoyed the challenge of these puzzles, they were feeding an unhealthy cycle. More often than not, I did them right before bed. Almost without fail, when I opened my New York Times app to scroll down to the puzzle, I wound up reading articles and scanning headlines in a futile attempt to order my thinking about the day. Inevitably, I would make it to bed later than I wanted, having squandered the time I could have spent while my family was together, distracted in a news fog.
And so, with the new year dawning, I turned them off—deleting the app from my phone and iPad.
My resolve lasted until January 6th.
As we watched the news of the Capitol riot, I picked up my phone to follow events. Eventually, I found my way to the end of the news scroll, clicking on the link to the crossword. I was craving the sense of order and certainty that the news of that moment was subverting. I yearned for an untangling that wasn’t possible. But, I knew I could find a approximation of it in those little black and white squares.
I still believe in the power of solvable problems. NYTimes crosswords are just not a great one for me right now. They are so intertwined with the news and the potential for doom scrolling that they are doing more harm than good. So, I’m walking away from this particular solvable problem, again.
But, I’m not giving up on the concept as a whole. I am on the lookout for solvable problems that don’t introduce new complications. I find them in a new quilt block I am working out. I find them in the conundrum of where to store the winter gloves and hats in this new space of ours. I can relax into these entirely knowable quandaries, assured that they have solutions. I can take comfort in knowing that I can, and will, come up with some sort of answer. And, that, at the end of the day, the stakes are entirely non-existent. At this moment, tangling with these sort of dilemas is powerful medicine.